Maybe

by Caitlin Heiligmann

 
If I do all the readings
carefully, diligently annotating
everything that could be important,
researching any words I don't know
for their definition, etymology, useful synonyms
and come to class pencils sharpened,
face washed, hair tamed,
smiling,
papers crisp, notebook open,
textbooks locked and loaded,
raising my hand at least twice
to please the professor,
but no more than four times,
so as not to annoy the other students,
then maybe, just maybe,
people won't realize I don't belong.

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